You've Gotta Start Somewhere

Four words that are the basis for encouragement.  I've said them.  I will never say them again. 

I went out for a run today.  I knew it would be short.  I hoped it would be easy.  I was 1 for 2.  On my way back, an acquaintance asked me how it went.  (She is literally an acquaintance.  My kids have played a couple of sports seasons with her kid and I think one might have a class with her kid.)  I told her that I wished I had gone ten miles, but I got two.  She laughed and said those four little words, "You gotta start somewhere."

I wanted to SCREAM!  I wanted to walk her to my car to show her my stickers.  I am not starting.  I am a distance runner.  Two miles is nothing. I was offended.

But, then I really thought about it.  I am starting somewhere.  It's no secret that running has been hard for me.  It's no secret that I have been getting slower, not faster.  It's no secret that running hasn't been much fun.  I am a worse runner now than I was a year ago.  

Time to look a the cold, hard truth.  Time to figure out why.  I have run through a litany of excuses over the past few months.  (Ha ha...see what I did there??)  We moved, I got a new job, I am tired, I have three kids, I do too much...and so on and so on.  The more I thought about it, the more the answer became obvious.

There is more of ME than there was last year.  

I can also run through a laundry list of excuses as to why that happened too - PCOS, 3 kids, no time to prep and cook food, and so on and so on.

It boils down to choices.  I made bad choices....for a year....for more than a year.  I mean, I was running, I needed carbs.  Those choices, combined with the struggles I have with sugar and weight loss have left me 20 pounds heavier than I was last year and 20 pounds heavier than before I had Joshua.  My clothes just kept getting smaller and I wasn't in a place where I really cared.  I knew what I had to do, but I didn't want to do it.  Processed food is quick and easy.  I needed quick and easy.  

My body can't run at this weight.   I know, I know...running is blind.  I have been to races.  There are people that weigh more than me who leave me in the dust and people who could blow over in a stiff breeze finish after me.  This isn't about them.  MY body cannot run at this weight.  It doesn't want to.  It fights me.  Running is hard. 

So, it's time to do something about it.  It's time to make a change.  I've started with meal planning.  I have a list of recipes that are quick and clean (or at least clean-ish....or at least made at my house so we aren't going out for dinner...it depends on the recipe.)   My shopping cart at Harris Teeter online was full of fresh and frozen produce that will be delivered to the back of my car in a few hours.  The remainder of the cart is whole wheat and ingredients for meals, not quick and processed. I finished my run this morning and came home to do the Total Body Cardio Fix from the 21 Day Fix program.  I am trying Plexus.  (Note about Plexus - I have been using it for a couple of months.  I have not seen weight loss....at all.  I am a fan of Plexus because it keeps me from feeling sluggish at 2:00 in the afternoon every day.  I don't feel like crawling under my desk and taking a nap when I still have 2 classes to teach in the afternoons.  You will not see my Facebook feed full of testimonials for Plexus, nor will I push you to try it.  Right now, it is working for me and my energy.)

You notice that my New Year's goals did not mention weight loss.  I am hoping that through purposeful meal planning and a commitment to exercise, I will lose the extra weight that my body is carrying around.  I am hoping that running will get easier again.  As that happens, speed will start to come back....I hope.